Look at me, jerking off in the shower. This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here.
Nine million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with smaller feet than my sister.
- Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mr. Cowboy?
- Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.
Remember those posters that said, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life"? Well, that's true of every day but one - the day you die.
It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about.
- Attention, whoever you are, this channel is reserved for emergency calls only.
- No fucking shit, lady! Does it sound like I'm ordering a pizza?