- You're the wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time.
- Story of my life.
Just once, I'd like a regular, normal Christmas. Eggnog, a fuckin' Christmas tree, a little turkey. But, no. I gotta crawl around in this motherfuckin' tin can.
- Hey... You should fold it.
- That note. It's a fake, right? You should fold it.
- It's... It's a note from my mom. I have a doctor's appointment.
- Yeah, but there's no crease in the paper. When your mom hands you a note to miss school, the first thing you do is, you fold it and you put it in your pocket. I mean, if it's real, where's the crease?
How did you cheat on the bar exam in Louisiana?
Oh man, I can't fucking believe this. Another basement, another elevator. How can the same shit happen to the same guy twice?
Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned. The second mouse, wouldn't quit. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter and crawled out.
Dear Dad, you always told me that an honest man has nothing to fear, so I'm trying my best not to be afraid.