Remember those posters that said, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life"? Well, that's true of every day but one - the day you die.
Didya hear the one about the guy who couldn't afford personalized plates, so he went and changed his name to J3L2404?
It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about.
Oh, fuck it, I don't have to talk, either, man! See how you like it. Just total fuckin' silence. Two can play at that game, smart guy. We'll just see how you like it. Total silence.
You know, it's proven that second-hand smoke is, uh, carcin-... uh, you know, cancer related.
Look at me, jerking off in the shower. This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here.