Look at me, jerking off in the shower. This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here.
I always figured when I got older, God would sorta come inta my life somehow. And he didn't. I don't blame him. If I was him I would have the same opinion of me that he does.
Where's the last guy? Ultimo hombre. Last man standing. Must've been one.
Remember those posters that said, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life"? Well, that's true of every day but one - the day you die.
It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about.
What you got ain't nothin' new. This country's hard on people. You can't stop what's coming. It ain't all waiting on you. That's vanity.