Eddie, you keep talking like a bitch, I'm gonna slap you like a bitch.
It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about.
I don't wanna kill anybody. But if I gotta get out that door, and you're standing in my way, one way or the other, you're gettin' outta my way.
I can say I definitely didn't do it because I know what I did or didn't do. But I cannot definitely say that about anybody else, 'cause I don't definitely know.
Look at me, jerking off in the shower. This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here.
Do you know what this is? It's the world's smallest violin playing just for the waitresses.
Remember those posters that said, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life"? Well, that's true of every day but one - the day you die.