Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
June twenty-ninth. I gotta get in shape. Too much sitting has ruined my body. Too much abuse has gone on for too long. From now on there will be 50 pushups each morning, 50 pullups. There will be no more pills, no more bad food, no more destroyers of my body. From now on will be total organization. Every muscle must be tight.
Loneliness has followed me my whole life, everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There's no escape. I'm God's lonely man.
Now I see this clearly. My whole life is pointed in one direction. There never has been a choice for me.
Each night when I return the cab to the garage, I have to clean the cum off the back seat. Some nights, I clean off the blood.
The secret impresses no one. The trick you use it for is everything.
No one cares about the man in the box, the man who disappears.