- Word is they're going to repeal Prohibition. What'll you do then?
- I think I'll have a drink.
You just fulfilled the first rule of law enforcement: make sure when your shift is over you go home alive. Here endeth the lesson.
Dear Dad, you always told me that an honest man has nothing to fear, so I'm trying my best not to be afraid.
- Hey... You should fold it.
- That note. It's a fake, right? You should fold it.
- It's... It's a note from my mom. I have a doctor's appointment.
- Yeah, but there's no crease in the paper. When your mom hands you a note to miss school, the first thing you do is, you fold it and you put it in your pocket. I mean, if it's real, where's the crease?
If you're afraid of getting a rotten apple, don't go to the barrel. Get it off the tree.
How did you cheat on the bar exam in Louisiana?
Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned. The second mouse, wouldn't quit. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter and crawled out.