What the hell are you looking at, you little ginger-haired fucker?
Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned. The second mouse, wouldn't quit. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter and crawled out.
- Hey... You should fold it.
- That note. It's a fake, right? You should fold it.
- It's... It's a note from my mom. I have a doctor's appointment.
- Yeah, but there's no crease in the paper. When your mom hands you a note to miss school, the first thing you do is, you fold it and you put it in your pocket. I mean, if it's real, where's the crease?
How did you cheat on the bar exam in Louisiana?
- My buddy and his dog killed two of them and, no shit, I torched the last one.
- Yeah, I burnt her ass to a crisp.
Dear Dad, you always told me that an honest man has nothing to fear, so I'm trying my best not to be afraid.
Anybody accidentally kills anybody in a fight, they go to jail. It's called manslaughter. I think all that lethal weapon horseshit is just an excuse so you dancers never have to get in a real fight.
- You are real, right?
- I'm as real as a donut, motherfucker.