A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
- He hissed at you. What did he say?
- He said, "I can smell your cunt."
- I see. I myself cannot.
It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about.
Have the lambs stopped screaming?
Remember those posters that said, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life"? Well, that's true of every day but one - the day you die.
Look at me, jerking off in the shower. This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here.