You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity.
Right after I got here I ordered some spaghetti with marinara sauce and I got egg noodles and ketchup. I'm an average nobody. I get to live the rest of my life like a schnook.
I'm not mad, I'm proud of you. You took your first pinch like a man and you learn two great things in your life. Look at me, never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut.
In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary... come again?
Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible cunt... me.
For a second I thought I was dead. But, when I heard all the noise, I knew they were cops. Only cops talk that way. If they'd been wiseguys, I wouldn't have heard a thing. I would've been dead.
One day some of the kids from the neighborhood carried my mother's groceries all the way home. You know why? It was outta respect.
- So, what you doin here?
- I'm taking the dog for a walk. What's the problem?
- What's in the car?
- Seats and a steering wheel.